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Archive for January, 2010

right from the moment your child came out into this world, you have been washed away with a sea of mixed emotions—happiness, excitement, fear, amazement and worry. the very first time you saw him you could not help but feel a unique sense of joy that you did not know you were capable of feeling. at the same time, you have that persistent fear of what is ahead as you worry about things like disciplining your child and making sure that he grows up to be a person of moral values.

your fears begin to transform into reality once your child becomes a toddler. you see some changes in his attitude. from the tiny innocent baby, who does nothing but coos and cuddles with you, he slowly transforms into a toddler who begins to know about the world. soon, you notice that your child begins to cry more often or does not obey you anymore. to raise a child properly, here are some key disciplining pointers that every parent should know:

1. do not give in to your child’s every whim. many parents think that giving their child everything they want is a good way to express their love. but this is the biggest misconception when it comes to parenting. not giving your child everything is healthy as this will make him more grounded with the reality of life that he can never have everything that he wants and that he will not always have it his way. children raised this way grow up to be mature and level headed adults who can handle problems and disappointments with more ease than adults who were spoiled brats in their younger years.

2. be consistent with your rules. most children of today are very smart and they remember things quite easily. If you say no to him eating snacks before mealtime but allow him to have a couple of treats the next night, he will get a disoriented notion that rules can be broken. this will not stop him from breaking other rules that you set.

3. do not say “no” too much. this word is supposed to be used only for important matters like when your child is about to touch an electric outlet. using “no” too much will lose its sense of urgency.

4. be generous with praises and compliments. positive reinforcement of proper behavior and good manners is always more effective than punishment in forming your child’s moral values.

5. do not let the surroundings be tempting for him. If you have a child in the house, keep all things dangerous away from his reach. do not place your expensive China in a place near the play area and expect that you can just discipline him into not breaking it.

6. talk to your child often. communicating with your little one and instilling proper values such as saying thank you, please and excuse me is one of your prime duties as a parent.

7. distract to stop crying sprees. if your child cries to get what he wants, do not give in to the temptation of handing him the object of her crying session. instead, remove from her from the area and distract her to make her forget about it. giving him what he wants after he cries will reinforce this behavior and teach him to use this to wrap you around his finger.

8. spanking is never the answer. this violent manner of punishment may only cultivate aggressive behavior in your kid and give him the wrong idea that you can hurt anyone who makes mistakes. time-outs and negative punishment (removal of things that your kid likes to discourage a certain behavior) are more effective forms of discipline.

9. spend a lot of quality time with your child. this is probably the most important ingredient in raising your kid properly. do not allow yourself to be caught up with too much work and be sure that you set aside sufficient time for your little one.

being a parent is truly an extraordinary and wondrous feeling that you are lucky to be able to experience. it will never be an easy and smooth ride but you will know that all the challenges and problems you face along the way will be all worth it.

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